Dear "The Hive" and/or other Scottish clubs,
Guess what...
Techno music is not good. In fact, it is not even okay. It should die a death that takes longer than the famed Dance of the Seven Veils. It should jump off Mount Kilamajaro and never come back.
Would you like to know what happens when techno music starts playing at a Scottish club...?
50-ish badly dressed Scottishy people start jumping around and yelling "Whoo!" at random intervals that everyone seems to know....maybe it's like the Scottish traditional dance thing - when they are in elementary school, they not only learn the traditional dances, they also learn when to "Whoo!" at the appropriate time. What a handy skill to have. How jealous I am.
......
Have I mentioned that I hate techno music?
I think they invented techno music to make white people feel good about themselves. Yes. This must be it. I am sad that they play it so much in Europe. I just don't understand how you dance to techno music. People just jump around. That personally just makes me tired and hurts my feet.
On the plus side, Tricia (my flatmate!) and I have 1 1/2 jars of Nutella (the real kind...not even off-brand - watch out), so that makes me feel better.
Deuces,
Rachel
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Dear Rachel, I just read this. I agree with you 100%. Except... in Germany they have this thing called "Atzen Musik" which masquerades as normal pop-y music... but is really just techno music with more words that only German people know the words to. Luckily, all of this music has the exact same beat, so if you are German, you only have to learn to jump to one particular beat. In short, I feel for you. I miss you dearly!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Erin